Not in its unalloyed timeless eternality,
Not it its absolute familiarity.
Not in its ease.
Not in it.
But maybe, I can feel it as it passes me by.
I can feel it, not from within, but without.
Maybe, I can know it in disjointed moments
that for all their brevity knock me off my feet,
Pack a powerful punch, and I…
I can do naught but be carried by yearning that’s greater than reason,
Want that’s greater than fear,
Fantasy that’s greater than fact.
Carried to a place of longing crystallised into absolute clarity.
As you embrace me, pull me close,
Recognising in me a vulnerability that you know doesn’t come easy,
Teary eyed I move into your arms,
Your breath on my face; both cool, and warm,
Everything in my being explodes with a sudden yearning,
Reaching out with cloying fingers and blinded vision,
Flightless wings taking a phantom leap through the impossible skies,
And before that wave can crest,
With a reassuring squeeze - you pull back.
As you do, so does clarity.
Yearning fades into a reasoned resolution that stares at you with unseeing eyes wide open,
While my heart takes a minute to come down from a galloping high,
Knowing that it is being swiftly and mercilessly reigned in,
It takes a moment to savour the certainty of loving and being loved in turn,
In that moment disjointed from the humdrum of everyday life,
A jagged shard of rainbow colour,
That held too tight, for a moment too long,
Would turn to blood and pain, and trail through time dogging my sanity,
But let go off…it would shine,
Twinkling with warmth and comfort,
A memory of love,
In knowledge of the fact that I cannot know what it is to love.