In stillness guiding from within the confines of unsettling chaos ,
loneliness that's unanticipated, unscripted,
untethered from the rose hued expectations of lives lived in the boroughs of normalcy,
in neighbourhoods where children are taught expectant joy,
taught in tones too low and deep to register as anything but a pervasive hopefulness -
faith, that all will be as it should.
I carve my life in spaces where the shoulds all wither to expose
the many hierarchies of deservedness they are built upon.
I stand looking upon the seedy underbelly of the flambuoyant structures
propped up on empty insipiration pornographically fornicating
with desirability born of chance...
and if you haven't witnessed the nuts and bolts holding together the facade,
if naked and invulnerable on swaying balconies you dance,
as disembodied cries of rage morph into a lullaby moving you to slumber,
then congratulations, my friend...you belong.
I carve my life with strength that comes from navigating
vast expanses of fathoms deep water with no boundaries but for those keeping you out,
telling you that you don't belong,
simultaneously being hemmed in, and set free,
free to explore what life might mean
in territory where meanings come apart,
breathless with fear and anticipation as my many routes I chart,
getting up, falling down, broken, mending, moving on,
I journey everyday to a place I might belong,
a place I might call home.
- Gurleen K.